Something I don’t do enough of whilst being unemployed: go out to lunch. Alone. I know, it sounds depressing and daunting, but thanks to technology you can make yourself look as busy and important as you want…even if you are depressed on the inside. Break out that iPad! Use those Bose headphones! Nothing’s going to get you down, you tech-savvy freelancer! Yea. So that’s what I was going for last week when I dropped into Parish Hall. I had to get out of my apartment and work on an assignment (seriously), but it also happened to be my birthday…so why not take myself to a nice lunch?
Parish Hall is very bright and white on the inside; it encompasses that modern feel while still being inviting. It is also owned by the same peeps as Egg, one of my favorite brunch spots in the ‘burg. And you know what else is nice? No one cares that you’re dining alone. No one. I always wonder what people are going to think when I do this, but seriously, no one gives a shit. If it’s a super crowded night I might feel a little self conscious, but during the day it’s a piece of cake. Mm cake. So I sat down and perused the menu. Not too big, not too small, and just the right amount of sinful eats. I started with the deviled eggs because…I love them. These were excellent; classic but with a little of Parish Hall’s “secret sauce” which contains course ground mustard and spicy relish, among other things. They had a nice kick. I didn’t want to eat all four of them…but I did. Oops?
I asked the friendly waiter what I should be eating as my main dish. Keep in mind I was a little hungover, it was my 29th birthday, and I was eating alone. I mean, I needed something to keep my spirits up, right? He recommended the patty melt, hands down, and DAMN am I glad he did. Let me try to describe this.. Ground beef. Ground lamb. Ground bacon. YES GROUND BACON. Cheese. Grilled onions. Rye bread. Squished together. Into one, beautiful, harmonious, polygamous marriage of meat, fat, and carbs. This is where you call me fat while secretly being jealous that you aren’t eating this RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW.
You can taste the lamb and the bacon, which is incredible, and the cheese is so perfectly gooey; the whole thing is a gut bomb, but it’s so good. I can’t really stress that enough. If you’re a big fan of greasy burgers, this is the sandwich for you, my friend. This comes with either fries or salad, but if you opt for the salad with a sandwich like this, you should probably just kill yourself. Because you have the worst logic ever.
After that, I didn’t really think I had room for anything else, but you know, sometimes, the heart wants what it wants, even if it’s hiding in your subconscious. I guess I let it slip at some point that it was my birthday, and the chef so kindly sent over a piece of their chocolate walnut tart with ice cream on top. Aww. The way to my heart is definitely through my stomach, and if that stomach is filled with chocolate, your chances are pretty good.
The tart was awesome – buttery, nutty crust, and the dense chocolatey filling topped with vanilla-cocoa nib ice cream…happy birthday to me, indeed.
Even if you’re not the type to go dining alone, grab a friend or two and check this place out. You won’t be disappointed.
Parish Hall
109a North 3rd St
Website Link: Parish Hall
