This is real.
Nothing has ever been more real.
Well, maybe the struggle is. With 3 weeks to go, I am starting to get a bit antsy. I miss crunchy tacos and I DON’T EVEN LIKE CRUNCHY TACOS. I mostly just miss my beloved Taco Bell. So, during an unfortunate battle with insomnia, I came up with this gem. I attribute said insomnia to excessive hunger from this “diet” I’ve been on…my stomach growls so loudly it wakes me up. Seriously.
Being that I can’t bite into a Quesarito (but can almost chew), I decided that when there’s a big fat will, there’s a way. I give you: Quesarito Lasagna. Yes, I came up with a way to experience it in layers. I know you’re thinking, well if you can eat this, why not just cut up a burrito?? Because, simpleton, then the ratio of rice:quesadilla:beef would not be even and it would get too messy. This way, there is a little bit of everything in each glorious bite. Trust me. I have been practicing and justifying my levels of fatness for a long time. This works and it works damn well. Not to mention all those packets of fire sauce I keep in my purse are coming in handy!
Quesarito Lasagna (Serves 6-8 or 1 big Dara)
10-12 small flour tortillas (I hate soft corn tortillas so they can go die)
2 lbs ground beef (85% lean, 15% fat)
2 cups Carolina white rice
2 cups water and 2 cups chicken broth (for cooking rice)
1 package shredded Cheddar
1 package shredded Mexican style cheese (Asiago, Manchego, etc)
1 medium onion, grated
1/2 cup of Queso dip (I used the Tostitos brand), plus 4 tbsps (for the layers)
1 1/2 tbsp Taco Bell Fajita Seasoning Mix (YES THIS IS A THING! CLICK THE LINK! Otherwise, leave it out)
1/4 tsp Flavor God Spicy Everything seasoning (also optional – I just love his stuff – you can substitute 1/4 tsp cayenne here)
1/4 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp salt
Pinch of pepper to taste
Pinch or two of chipotle chile pepper seasoning
13×9 inch pan, 2-3 inches deep
1. Make the ground beef mixture: Grate onion in a small bowl and set aside. Heat skillet to medium high heat and add the beef. You may need to drain the meat a bit because of the fat…fat is flavor but this was a bit much.
2. Add grated onion and all spices. Mix and cook until meat is no longer pink. Remove from heat but cover to keep moisture in.
3. Make rice: Boil water and chicken broth. Cook rice according to directions just try not to overcook because it’s going to go in the oven for a bit, don’t forget.
4. While the water is boiling/rice is cooking, make some dillas! Take two flour tortillas, butter each of them, then sit them side by side. Add 1/4 cup cheddar and 1/4 cup Mexican cheeses to one tortilla. Take the other tortilla and place on top. Add to skillet with butter side down. Press down with a spatula until cheese is melted inside and they get all nice and brown when you flip them. You should make 5 of these. But you know, make more if you want to because why not.
5. When rice is done, add the 1/2 cup of Queso dip and stir around. Make it cheesy, kids.
6. It’s layering time! This will take some finesse. As you will see from my pics, I didn’t do a fantastic job with shapes here, but I did my best and it was still damn delicious. Place two of them on the bottom, but cut off the sides to make it somewhat rectangular. As long as you cover most of the bottom of the pan, you’re fine. It doesn’t need to be perfect because it all bakes together magically.
7. Add 1 and 1/2 cups rice on top of the quesadillas. Spread around to make a nice layer. If you want to top with more shredded cheese, go nuts, but I left it as is.
8. Add 1 cup of the ground beef on top of the rice and spread evenly across.
9. Add 2 tbsps Queso dip on top of beef and spread around. Spread love, it’s the Brooklyn way.
10. Repeat layers with quesadillas, rice, beef, queso. For the top layer, I just used two flour tortillas instead of the quesadillas, and added some shredded cheese on top. As you can see below, the shapes weren’t exactly fitting. But again, worked. F you, geometry.
11. Cover with tin foil to prevent the cheese on top from burning. Pop in the oven at 375 for 20 mins or so until heated through nicely. Everything is cooked, so you just want the ingredients to get cozy with one another.
12. Remove tin foil and broil for a few minutes so the cheese on top gets all bubbly and sexy. You don’t have to do this step, but who doesn’t want sexy cheese?!
Done. After my first few bites I realized I was missing something…THE FIRE SAUCE PACKETS!
CUT INTO SMALL PIECES AND DEVOUR.
3 weeks left…