The Skinny Pig

Hilarity Watch: Passive-Aggressive Appetizers

I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes food doesn't always have to be taken so seriously. I was literally laughing out loud while reading Yoni Brenner's list of "Fourteen Passive-Aggressive Appetizers," and I work in one of the quietest offices in Manhattan. They probably think I'm crazy. While I may be a little off-kilter at times, I don't know if I would have the guts to do this:

"2. Vegetarian friends? Try veggie rumaki: wrap a strip of imitation bacon around a water chestnut, spear with a toothpick, and broil—but instead of imitation bacon use real bacon, and instead of a water chestnut use veal. "

"9. Tempura makes great finger food, and the batter locks the flavor of just about anything in a savory, opaque crust. Impress your friends with creative choices, from squash blossoms to mislaid car keys to the two-carat engagement ring that Cheryl gave back to you after she “reassessed things.” Surprise!"

Love it. If you ever imagined what you would say or do to your ex's new love, Mr. Brenner comes up with some good ideas (see # 5 and 6). Check out the actual article on The New Yorker's "Shouts and Murmur's" page for a good laugh...and good ideas for your next dinner party. 

Mayor Bloomberg Says Let's Dance!

Now I realize this isn't really food-related, but it's good-times-related and that deserves some attention on my blog. The Cabaret License that has been in effect since 1926, may finally be getting repealed in NYC by Mayor Bloomberg. The 82-year-old law prohibits three or more people from dancing in a bar or restaurant unless it has a cabaret license. From The Daily News:

"City Hall is looking to eliminate - or at least loosen - the cumbersome cabaret license so more bars and businesses can allow patrons to let loose."

I think the law is ridiculous and I'm glad the Mayor and City Hall are working to reform or entirely repeal this law.  An avid bar and restaurant-goer myself, I've never been asked to leave a bar or restaurant for bopping my head or swaying my hips to music. What's next? No chewing your food in case it moves in tandem with the music?

Evidently this law was more strictly enforced during Mayor Giuliani's Quality of Life Campaign in 1997, when police were cracking down on dance clubs without these licenses and promptly shutting them down. An out-of-control nightclub is one thing, but I would doubt that has to do with the amount of "dancing" going on inside. Perhaps they should worry about enforcing the "maximum capacity" law inside clubs. If people were able to move once they were inside, perhaps they wouldn't start fights with one another because somebody stepped on somebodys elses shoe. According to a source at City Hall, the Daily News reported that they are working on a similar law involving noise and building codes:

"The official said the city's new noise code would prevent bars from abusing a dance license and building codes that limit the amount of people in the facilities."

Abusing a dance license? I assume that means only certain movements are allowed inside - like the hokey pokey and the electric slide. Personally I was never a believer in "protecting the neighbors from noise;" in my opinion, if you move to 9th avenue between 14th and 15th streets, you're going to have noise. Same goes for plenty of other areas in Manhattan. It's one thing to crack down on security inside and outside of clubs and bars for safety reasons, but if it's a Saturday night and I don't hear some drunken idiot yelling outside my window, it just doesn't feel like New York to me.

I want to shake it!!