The Double Down Showdown

After much anticipation, I finally did it. I conquered the Double Down. Or maybe it conquered me. I'm not sure yet because it's still digesting…

Double Down box

My generous coworkers decided to take a little walk and get a few Double Downs, so how could I not partake in that joy? Upon their return, they handed me my sandwich and I noted that it didn't feel that heavy; oddly enough, considering how utterly massive this thing looks in the ads and the commercials. So I took it over to my desk and took out the box and opened it. Not THAT big. I'd say it's a little bigger than my fist. Hooray for portion control! While it may not have been that big in circumference though, once I lifted it up, the heftiness presented itself. The chicken breasts (fried to golden crispy perfection) were a good inch to inch and a half thick, and the cheese was melted and oozing out the sides with bacon stuck to it. People, this is the stuff that dreams are made of.

Double Down 1 
Be prepared…

This thing is a greasefest. Not that I don't enjoy a good, greasy chicken sandwich (hello Cherry Valley), but when I took my first bite, I shit you not, I actually HEARD grease ooze out of the chicken. It actually made me laugh (with a mouthful of chicken/bacon/cheese…attractive) because this thing is SO gluttonous that you actually feel ridiculous for eating it. I felt like if someone were to walk by my cube at that very moment I would be able to feel their judgement as they feel my shame. However, that said…HOLY FUCKBALLS IT TASTES GOOD. I'm sorry, but it does! It is deliciously disgusting. To quote my good friend Monique after she took her first bite: "oh fuck." Yes. Exactly. Oh fuck is right.

Double Down Side
You know you want a bite. Don't lie.

After the initial euphoria wore off, I stopped to take a look at what I was eating. "What just happened??" I thought to myself. "Did I eat that? Why don't I feel full?" I'm being dead serious about that last part. I ate 90% of the Double Down with the exception of the last few bites; there were two little nugs of chicken left with hardly any cheese and no bacon. I have no use for that. But as I was saying, I don't feel full! I've been sitting here writing this for a good twenty minutes (the time it's supposed to take for digestion/that "full feeling") and I could literally eat a salad right now. Perhaps I should. Would that make me feel better about myself? No. It wouldn't. No amount of romaine and legumes can take away the shame…

Double Down Nugs 
No bacon? No buens.

Would I order this again? Yes and no. Yes if I was somewhat intoxicated; in that case I'd probably order two because I really don't feel full. And no because…it's just THAT weird to me. I can't imagine anyone really wanting to eat this, other than for the sheer novelty of it. Who craves two pieces of fried chicken in place of a bun?? That's what makes it so strange – because all that's inside is bacon and cheese - put bread in place of the chicken and it's a grilled cheese with bacon. Not that bad. And I LOVE the Bushman sandwich from Cherry Valley – which is a fried chicken cutlet with bacon, cheese AND gravy on a HERO. That's probably even more fattening than the Double Down, but it doesn't FEEL that way. I don't know why, but I really don't want to tug at that thread anyway.

For now I shall leave you with this…try the Double Down. It is definitely worth it – at least for the first few bites before the blood stops running to your heart. And don't be a pansy and get the grilled version. There is NO point in that. If you're going to do something wrong, do it right. But in the long run – it's not worth the extra cals especially when it leaves you hungry. This is what I am eating now…just because I'm STILL hungry. Thanks Double Down…I feel violated…

Double Down Aftermath
The aftermath.

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