If you’ve been on the internet at all in the past year or two (or three), you’ve probably seen a bunch of videos about “self care” from (mostly) women who look like they fell out of a Pinterest pin.
Everything in the house is white.
The flowers are fresh.
The sheets are crisp.
They have a perfectly messy bun.
In my mind, these bitches are sleeping “light as a feather, stiff as a board” style or something. Just straight hovering above the sheets. The bed isn’t even messed up WHEN THEY BE CLIMBIN OUT OF IT.
That wasn’t even proper English, but you know what I mean. Rant over.
We discussed this a few weeks ago on my podcast, You Both Suck. If you haven’t listened yet, please check it out! It’s a fun show and I’m not just saying that. We take submissions from listeners (like you!) and debate them on air. It’s similar vibes to “Am I The Asshole” on Reddit, but we go a bit deeper into the problem and we offer solutions too.
ANYWAY. The episode I’m referring to is this one, where someone wrote in about a friend who is all about the “TikTok Self Care” as she called it, where, unless you’re in her face, she kinda forgets you exist. She meditates, does yoga, and is all about “mindfulness,” meanwhile seems to be the least mindful person. What gives??
I can tell you!
Social media is a HOTBED for toxic positivity and #selfcare tropes that don’t actually serve you. I’m all for “protect your peace,” but not if it means “avoid your problems and the people who caused them.” Sure, you should put up boundaries with troublesome people in your life, but people (especially younger people), hear this phrase and think “I should just ignore them and the problem will go away.”
That’s not helping you or anyone.
In order to resolve any problem with a friend or a partner, you have to communicate. And there are healthy ways to do that without sounding like a self involved doucheflower.
Social media has got a lot of people believing that you should just walk away from everything in your life that no longer serves you. And while sometimes that is good advice, it’s a case by case basis.
My point is, this mentality is not a one size fits all solution.
You can listen to the full episode of the pod here where we discuss that in more detail.
For now, I’d like to talk about the ONE self care tip that I maintain is most important for a healthy mindset. It surely changed my life. So here it is:
DON’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE IN THE MORNING.
I know this is hard to imagine, but hear me out. I don’t TOUCH my phone until I’ve done the following things in the morning:
Workout (if I’m working out that day)
Maybe the last few things are self care things too, but I would not be able to get ANY of them done if I grabbed my phone immediately after opening my eyes.
I’d get sucked into emails, Instagram, TikTok, Hinge, or whatever other crap my phone brings to my attention that day.
I’ll be honest, social media is the worst one. I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone. I avoid opening IG until I absolutely have to (it’s my job so I do have to eventually).
If you can avoid it, you’ll realize how much easier and happier your morning feels. I urge you to try it for one week and see how you feel.
There’s no pressure to create, no pressure to answer DMs, no jealousy over someone else’s post, it’s just…peace.
And THAT is how you protect your damn peace.
PS: here are a few of my favorite self care things from the main photo above.