Broken Face Diet: Stuff I Still Can’t Eat Via Comic Con

End of week 3 is upon us, people! I know you care a lot.

On top of being beyond agitated with the fact that I can’t eat most real foods still, I got some scrumptious samples in the mail the other day that I couldn’t fully enjoy. Wikia, the social universe for fans and superfans, has teamed up with Comic Con to make a bunch of “fantasy” themed foods. Then, the Wikia communities participated in a Fantasy Food Bracket Tournament, and these dishes were the ones that made it to the top. Now, Superfans can indulge in their favorites at Comic Con today (the 10th) and tomorrow (the 11th) at the Fantasy Food Truck parked inside the Javits Center (North Corridor). Here they are below, followed by my lame attempt to experience them:

Makin bacon pancakes..makin bacon pancakes...
Makin bacon pancakes..makin bacon pancakes…

1. Nuka Cola: This blue concoction exploded a little upon delivery so I imagine that wasn’t supposed to happen. Then again, it’s Comic Con?

2. Bacon Pancakes: Please. Think I won’t push through the pain and smash it with my fist to get that in my system.

3. Smile Dip: Not a chance in hell. This shortbread cookie with funky pink icing was like a hockey puck to me. It looked good though – I’m sure people with normal chewing capabilities would have enjoyed it.

4. Meat The Band-Wich: A small slider of meats on a potato bun. I…took it apart and ate it because I can’t bite into sandwiches. It’s seriously sad, but this one I really enjoyed; there’s bacon, turkey, and steak on it. I miss steak so much.

5. Make it So, No. 7: If you haven’t had No. 7 Sub yet, you’re missing out on one of the greater things in life. This unusual sandwich shop was a staple of mine when I worked by the one in Flatiron. They add things like chips, deep fried pickles, and all kinds of random ingredients to their sandwiches. This one particular sub was too big for my jaw opening (refrain from jokes please), but I tasted it as best as I could and it was pretty good. Anytime a sandwich has BBQ potato chips on it, it’s hard to be bad. I believe the sub shop will also be giving you 20% off of these while they are still available.

So. That’s the story of my sad existence. If you’re going to Comic Con, check it out and report back on the things I can’t ingest.

3 weeks left…

*cries self to sleep with a bowl of pudding

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